The other day Johan and I were talking with some friends about how farming is for certifiable idiots only, and for fun we listed all the things that have gone wrong in the 15 years we have been farming.
Too little rain in winter/Too much rain in spring
Temperatures too high when ripening. / Temperatures too low when ripening
Winds which interfere with flowering and germination in spring
Bees which refuse to do what they should do at pollination time because it’s too cold.
Baboons which eat the grapes while they are ripening.
Sheep from a neighbour that get in and eat the new leaves in spring (so vines don’t develop) or in summer (so there isn’t shade and the grapes burn) or at ripening time so there aren’t any grapes at all
Hail which destroys flowering/ Hail which destroys developing grapes.
Out of control fungal infection (wet conditions)
Out of control dry rust (dry conditions)
Infection coming from a neighbour who doesn’t keep his sickness at bay
Swartland Cellar’s schedules that wanted grapes out of sync with when our grapes were ripe
Floods which uprooted R200K worth of planted young saplings
Rain falling into crates of picked grapes
Tractor that breaks down during harvest
Traffic jam with crates of grapes burning and dehydrating in the sun
Swartland Cellar that rates our grapes according to measures other than their worth
Swartland Cellar that pays less for our grapes than it cost to harvest them
Swartland Cellar that has financial difficulty
Market which slumps
And don’t worry we’ll be sure to add to this each year
1 comment:
A great list! If I didn't know that every word of it was factually true, I think I'd take it as a poem ... a sad but humourous poem, or at least a draft of one, perhaps to be titled 'The Farmer's Lament'. Edit and publish, I'd say!
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